Emotionally Needy People and Pity Addicts

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Do you have to deal with anyone in particular that you would consider ‘needy’.  I don’t mean they are in need of something physical.  They are just needy.  They need constant assurance.  They need to feel good about themselves, and their need is usually filled at someone else’s expense.  Actually their needs can never really be filled.  They can never have enough assurance or self-esteem.  They can never have enough adoration or encouragement from others. They can never have enough power to make them feel fulfilled. They can never have enough emotional support or things to make them feel secure or satisfied.

In the category of emotionally needy people, there are two sub-categories.  The first             sub-category is made up of the type person who needs other people to look up to them.  They want to be seen as sort of a savior to someone, or a bunch of people, or something.  They are often in the limelight whether they are in a very small group or in a large group.  They are the control freaks who want to control everything.  It doesn’t have to be important.  If it is a reality, they feel they should be in charge of it.  It satisfies their need to be important to someone in some way.  Disgustingly enough, these people don’t confine themselves to the work place and families.  They creep into the public eye, and even worse into public office.

The second sub-category is filled with people who are fearful, or filled with fear.  They are afraid of life.  The emotionally needy politicians give these fearful emotionally needy people a little.  The poor are told they can never escape the bondage of poverty, but that they will never actually starve to death.  All they have to do is realize just how pitiful they are, and from that point, the needy politician has the emotionally needy poor person trapped.  The needy person becomes not only emotionally needy, they become addicted to pity.  It is a sort of vicious circle.    The emotional need feeds on pity and pity feeds on the emotion.  The emotionally needy leader has the emotionally needy person trapped.  Addiction to pity in an emotionally needy person is something from which it will take a miracle to escape.

Honestly, everyone is emotionally needy.  We need hope.  We need love.  We need peace of mind.  We need God.  Then those having found God and His companionship have a personal need to serve Him whole heartedly.  Emotionally needy people have a hard time going to God in the way He requires.  The leaders among the emotionally needy have a great deal of trouble doing that because it requires that they give up the emotional control they have over others.  The emotionally needy who are addicted to pity also have a difficult time in giving up their addiction and their emotional instability.  To go to God following His instructions requires that the individual makes changes.  To stay in one’s comfort zone requires nothing except to keep doing the same things.

When people accept a lesser god over Almighty God, their emotional neediness grows to the point of instability. (There are no gods equal to the Most High God of the Bible.) Emotionally needy people are driven by emotions.  How they feel at the moment is what drives their decisions and their moods.  Solid footing is not in their life.  They are tossed about by whatever they feel like at the moment.  Often they get an emotional high from the pity of others.  Or, the emotionally needy in the public eye get an emotional high from being the emotional savior of others.  The so called elite/celebrity of the emotionally needy may also cast themselves in role of savior of the earth, or the whale, or choosing the direction of a club or group of people, pets, wild animals, or something they consider being led in a wrong path.  It doesn’t matter what is actually going on.  The emotionally needy will invent a cause for which they will become the savior.  They are dreadfully dangerous when given power of even the pencil sharpener in the office supply closet.

We are seeing this today in America and around the world.  The emotionally needy politician/celebrities/saviors of the world are busy saving the world and sucking the life out of the people who depend on them.  They are also causing a great deal of trouble for the rest of the population as well.

Then there are the emotionally needy who are addicted to pity as well.  They are afraid and dissatisfied with the world in which they live, but they are even more afraid of change.  They are afraid of giving up the pity given to them by others.  In their hearts, they know there is a better future possible than living the way they live.  But, they have no clear cut way out of their lifestyle, and they are afraid of an unknown future.  Then there is the addiction problem.  Like an alcoholic or drug addict, they know they need to change, but it is very hard and they don’t really see a way to change without a lot of pain and risk.  So, they crawl back to their pity party and go ahead with their lives the way they are.  It will take a miracle to change their mindset.  It will take the REAL Savior.  (This is not about gaining wealth – it is about gaining a better life which would rely on Christ for help instead of the government.)

And so, as we see the political upheavals going on around the world, the cultural collapse, preachers of the Gospel denied the right to speak and preach the world of God in public, Believers driven from their homes and imprisoned around the world, what should we do?  We, those who have believed on Jesus Christ and follow Him, should work to at least give people a chance to hear the word of God Almighty so they can make a choice based on facts instead of emotion.

We can have compassion on the emotionally needy.  It is true that but for God’s grace it could be one of us sitting in an emotional tornado, afraid of life, and addicted to pity.

More than compassion is needed.  Work is needed.  Support for the full time Christians workers is needed.  A sound mind is needed.  A Biblical world view is needed by believers.  One’s eternal destination is serious!  Those who know the way of salvation need to take it seriously and work to give everyone a chance to clearly hear the truth.  What they do with the truth is up to them, but they at least need to hear it.

It is time that Christians come out from among the people of the world and show themselves to be different.  The things of this world passing for Christian need to be spoken against.  Some wickedness needs to be thrown out of the church.

First, and most dangerous, the preaching of the world instead of the gospel is in many churches of every denomination.  The church is the place to preach the truth above all else.  It is not the place to greet and get along with the world.  It is not the place to put not offending people above everything else.  It is the place to where the truth should be told above everything else.  It is not the place for accepting all the things of the world in order to make people feel at home. Sadly, many members of the church are more concerned with pleasing themselves.  They are more at home in the world than in the church.  Rather than give up church entirely, they make the church into the world.     They offer what they want to the Lord instead of what the Lord requires.  Eastern mysticism in any form has no place in the church.  Paganism has no place in the church.  Ungodliness has no place in the church.  Here’s a hint – preachers and church workers addicted to pornography need removed from all positions of authority.  They actually need kicked out of the church until they repent.

As you know, the music of the world is in the church.  People are offering to God as praise what pleases their emotional instability.  They are not offering what God wants to hear.  He is holy.  Make no mistake about it.  Music either praises God or it praises the world.  The purpose of music in the church is to praise and glorify God.  An emotional response is not the first purpose, but it certainly can bring about an emotional response on the part of the congregation.  It is just wrong to put an emotional response or personal preference above pleasing God.

Even worse than offering personal music to God, churches are offering personal preferences on other things.  If a congregation doesn’t like what the Bible teaches, they go with personal preference over the words in the Bible. If the Bible is compromised on anything, why shouldn’t it be compromised on everything?  The traditions of man are set above God.  People who should know better follow the way of Cain and try to go to God on their own terms.  Repentance is not an issue.  God is likened to a merciful fellow who will eventually allow everyone into heaven because He is merciful.  The perfection and holiness of God is set aside as trivial.  The imperfection of man is set aside as trivial.  The unimaginable horror of hell is trivialized as non-existent or a place where people go to party for eternity.  People could be going to Glocca Morra instead of heaven or hell for all the preaching you hear in some churches on Sunday.

Our church is good.  The preacher does a very fine job.  Because of the distance some people drive, we have two services in the morning and none in the evening.  This breaks tradition, but it doesn’t break any scripture.  It is a good.  But, some people would rather blather about changes in the order of church service than confront unsound theology in the church.

The fundamentals of the faith are still the same.

The Bible is inerrant.

Jesus is eternal – and pre-existent prior to His birth in Bethlehem.

He was born of a Virgin (no big deal for God who created the Adam and Eve from dirt.)

Jesus was crucified and died.  He bodily rose up from the grave in three days.

Jesus is the way into heaven.  God made one very expensive way into heaven and everyone gets a first class invitation.

Jesus is coming again.

People are looking for so many things that God is willing to give us, but they are looking in the wrong places.  All they will ever get is a weak knock off of the true good things God has for those that love Him.

People are looking for the peace that passes understanding.  They look to yoga and mindless meditation instead of to the words of wisdom written in the Bible.

People go the occult for answers.  The Bible has all the answers and it stays the same yesterday, today, and forever.  The unsaved don’t know this.  Would you like to know how many actual Christians know this?  Probably not very many.

Christians need to begin to take their faith seriously.  God is the Great Forgiver.  Most Christians know that.  But, they forget God is also the Great Judge.  There is a time of judgment coming.  In that day the emotionally needy people of the world, both the small and great, will see the truth that they need a savior.  But it will be too late then.  As of today, there are some who can come to a realization that they actually need more than the world can give them.  There is hope for those who begin to look for a better way to live.  At that point in time, if they hear the plan of salvation, perhaps they will be strengthened to step out of their comfort zone and accept Jesus Christ as their savior.

For Christians to do a good job in telling the lost that Christ died for them, they first need to come to terms with their own neediness.  Christians, those who are truly believers and followers of Christ, need a growing relationship with God.  We need the companionship and provisions He has for us hear on this earth.  We personally have a need deep inside us to please the God of our salvation.  We need to be about the business of spreading the gospel.  The emotional and physical needs of God’s children can be filled on this earth and in eternity as well.  The emotional needs of the children of this world cannot be filled either in this world or the next.

God have mercy on those who need Him

And God strengthen His children to tell those who need Him how to be saved.


barbara-henderson-dir

By Barbara Henderson

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