Polishing My Tin-Foil Hat


coach-daveIs it ok if I gloat for a minute?

Well, not just me. I gloat for a group, a movement if you will. The more time passes the more I feel vindicated.

“See. I told you so.” It feels good to have those five words ooze off of my tongue. It feels like the sensation of warm sugar pouring over a soon-to-be glazed donut. It feels as good as it tastes.

For the past decade many of us have endured the scorn and ridicule of those who would dispatch our thoughts to the dung-heap of political thought, expelled by those “experts” who poo-pooed” our out-of the box- explanation for what was occurring in this nation.

Outside of the box is a great place to be. That is where liberty lives. Being boxed-in may be secure, but it certainly isn’t safe.

Ignorance is dangerous, and ignorance is the safety-blanket of the secure. Security is deceptive. It gives one a false sense of safety. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil…

A box is a prison. Often it is man-made, constructed to shield us from the world. Truth can be scary, liberty can be scary, but liberty is liberating. It is often found only outside of our fright-free box.

Most of us live our lives like tropical fish. Let me explain.

The next chance you get take a good long look at an aquarium. It is fascinating to watch the life of a fish being lived out before our very eyes. But an aquarium is nothing more than a glass box filled with water.

The fish that swim safely in the security of the tame waters have no idea they are being watched. To them, the aquarium is the world. They are oblivious to life outside of the miniature ocean in which they live. If only they knew there were greater opportunities outside their aquifer perhaps they could be free to swim the deep blue waters of the Caribbean.

But they are stuck in a box, feeding on the foods that their masters serve them. They are secure, but they are not free. That is where most of us swim. We are prisoner to the food the aquarium-watchers feed us.

Tin-foil hats are not permitted inside the aquarium.

The church is the biggest aquarium of them all. Tin-foil hat-wearers need not attend. Questioning the status-quo often leads to the left foot of fellowship. There is no place for alternative fish-food inside the fish tank. Those desiring an unfiltered cuisine are labeled troublemakers. You must munch on the sweet sauce that the zoo-keeper serves up.

Check my work. I have been poking on the glass of the aquarium for over a decade. But they couldn’t see that my tin-foil hat was really radar, warning of the impending storm. Fish trapped in an aquarium do not appreciate rough water. I purposefully rocked the boat and warned of the rapids ahead. But that is why they wouldn’t heed the warning. They thought the aquarium was their shelter from the storm.

Until the tsunami hits. It troubles the waters as a result of a crack in the foundation of the tank. Once the fissure appears, turbulent water is only a matter of time. If the foundation be destroyed what can the righteous do?

The waves are building on the horizon. The fish are about to be propelled onto the beach. The crashing of the tide will be sudden and complete. Even the angel fish will be praying.

In the past few weeks the fish have begun to realize that a lot of eyes have been watching what goes on inside our aquariums. We couldn’t see them, but they could see us. In fact, they were studying our movements, mapping the currents in which we swam, inspecting the school in which we chose to congregate, as they prepared to lure us into the net from which we would never get free.

Which brings me back to my tin-foil hat.

Many of us have been warning that the absence of liberty was tyranny, and our cries of warning have been disregarded.

“Government is a fearful master,” George Washington warned us. But we didn’t heed him either. His buddy Ben Franklin warned us about trading freedom for security. We shrugged off his admonition like a wet life-jacket.

Motivated by fear, and in search of security, the chains of government slowly and systematically wrapped around us like an octopus inside the aquarium. We traded the liberty of Christ for the security of government and awaken from our slumber to find we are food for our captors table.

Christ set us free and now the government has enslaved us. The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don’t. Today we find ourselves less safe and less free.

Black Christian American’s trusted in skin pigmentation as if the color of one’s skin was more important than the content of one’s character.

Unionized Christians trusted in the politics of their labor-leaders for economic security despite the un-Godly positions that they leadership espoused.

Value-voting Christians trusted in “conservatism” rather than Christianity, hiding the light under a bushel, while moral values were relegated to the closet in the name of “compassion.” Truth bowed to tolerance while the tolerant recognized no truth.

Parents caved to secularism in their schools and watch the god of self claw its way to the head of the class. The faith of their fathers has given way to a fatherless nation where unwed mothers are more prevalent than married fathers. How do you explain a “Heavenly” Father to a young man who has no earthly father?

Promiscuity is in and virtue is out. Virginity is as common as prayer in school. Homoscouts are nobler than heteroscouts. ACLU lawyers, like leaches, drain all decency in the name of the “equality.” Fairness has become the enemy of justice. Opportunity has been swapped for entitlements.

But who am I to tell you what to think. What scholarly attributes or seminary lambskins qualify me to point out the miscreants and their dastardly degrees? Who am I tell warn of rough seas ahead amidst a group of professional navigators with a broken compass? Who am I to point out that even dead fish float downstream and that swimming upstream is the gateway to life?

Who am I? What makes me an expert? Especially with that aluminum foil on top of my head.

We warned of tyrannical government. We warned of the effects of salt-less Christianity. We warned of humanistic teachings and their impact on our future. We warned of government debt, sloth, and society-endorsed sin. We warned about political solutions to moral problems. We begged for a return to Christian values.

But you ignored our warnings. You ridiculed our admonitions. You laughed at our funny hats. God has been expelled from America and government has become god. The all-seeing eye is focused upon us squinting to find anyone who will question its power.

Lying eyes are watching you. Every move you make, every vow you break, every claim you stake, every smile you fake, they’ll be watching you. The trap is set. The net is wide.

FEMA camps. Wiretaps. Gay scouts. Baby slaughter. Unjust weights and measures.

Fornication. Theft. Divorce. Judicial Tyranny. Chem-trails. Birthers. Truthers. Media manipulation. Bilderberger. Illuminati. Synagogue of Satan. Voter fraud. Phony gospels. NWO.

One world religion. All laughed off as conspiracy theories.

The forces of darkness are arrayed against good. Christians are asleep. Our pastors are hirelings.

Truth has fallen and it cannot get up. We have been warning you. Buckle up.

The storm is coming.

Pardon me while I polish my tin-foil hat.


By Coach Dave Daubenmire