Women – Now is The Time To Defend Yourselves in The Public Bathroom


ray-gano-medBy Ray Gano

I recently wrote an article titled “Men, It Is Time To Start Protecting Our Wives and Daughters”

You can read it here –  http://raygano.com/men-it-is-time-to-start-protecting-our-wives-and-daughters/

I got a lot of positive responses for the article, mainly from women.

BUT… it was interesting some of the comments made.

Here are some snippets from some of the women’s emails…

“Thanks Ray. Men have abdicated their role. Since I am single I have had very few men treat me as they should the weaker sex.”

Interesting, I had several emails from women expressing this sentiment.

Here is another email…

“Hi Ray,

One thing to note is that the kind of attacks you describe are found more in restrooms located where women and children are not with the husbands and fathers you want to protect them.  Men typically do not join families shopping  in malls or or department stores.  These are the kinds of places where a distracted mother will absentmindedly send an eight year old child to the restroom because they are “big enough to do it alone.”    Not only are men unlikely to be along on shopping trips, in many cases there is no man in the family at all.  There are larger and larger groups of single women handling a group of children with no assistance from a strong male figure.”

And one more that I wanted to share…


I smiled as I read this because I’ve been thinking basically the same thing. Men need to start acting like men!  The protectors of their family.

My concern is that the majority of the time women are either alone or with children when shopping. Men notoriously don’t like to shop. Some could be persuaded to come along as protection but many will not be able due to work or other commitments.

So us ladies will need to possibly defend ourselves n our children or grandchildren. My thoughts were to carry potent pepper spray n keep it handy. It’s take down some pervert or criminally minded male!

I’m not familiar with stun guns. Never used one but is definitely possibility.

Loved your approach if guarding bathrooms n not becoming the aggressor. Yelling to STOP, STAY BACK, etc would likely make the perp flee. Wise advice. Love it.

This needs to be published perhaps with advice for women. No one else is addressing what to do. Instead they wring their hands n wonder what if anything we should do about this situation. “

Kind of seeing the theme here?

There are a lot of single women in today’s world who have to raise their children alone.

There are also a lot of women who are married to men who as much as I hate to say it, are spineless wimps who have forgotten about chivalry, protecting the wife and kids, etc.

This is totally sad and like it or not, these men are “worse than the infidel.” That is what scripture clearly calls these sort of husbands and fathers.

So no matter what, the women has to now look to become the sheepdog and defend herself and her children from these predators seeking to gain access to the women’s restroom.

Ladies – we need to remember that this isn’t the days that we grew up. We are living in the last days of the last days.

Scripture says …

2 Timothy 3:1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

We have got to remember that we are living in the last days. There are bad, evil people who are just waiting to violate you in one form or another.

ALSO, I am writing mainly to the Christian female who maintains a biblical set of standards.

We live in a post-Christian nation where God is not revered or cared about. In fact the world we live in hates God, and therefore they hate you. They do not care about you and some of these people think you are worthless breathers of air that if you were exterminated tomorrow, they would not even blink an eye. They believe that it is the fundamentals of Christianity that are holding them back in the first place.

This is the main thing that you have to remember. You are in the minority of people who live a right life and strive to do what is right in the eyes of God.

The majority of the people are the direct opposite. They are the “natural man” who has no love for God, think His laws and Bible is “foolishness” and many today strive to make sure those of us who are Christian are made to be second class citizens.

This is a fact and you must remember this.

So I dedicate this article to the women out there that are forced to face these dangers by themselves and I hope that the information that I do provide will help.

Women’s Rules of Conduct and Engagement

In my past articles addressing men, I talked about rules of conduct and rules of engagement.

What I am doing is making suggestions to you as to how you can react and know how to react in certain situations.

Rules of Conduct

wing-chun-women-self-defence-lThe following rules are just suggestions to get you to think about your own situation. You as a woman know yourself, your abilities and what you can and can’t do. So the following rules are not written I stone, but just guidelines to help you create your own rules of conduct.

By having rules of conduct, you and your children will know what to do if you are in a public space or have to deal with a violation of your person / privacy.

Rule of Conduct #1 – Children NEVER go to the bathroom alone and YOU enter the bathroom first. You as the mother needs to protect the health and welfare of the child. Is it an inconvenience at times? Yes it is, but this needs to be one of those “draw the line in the sand” sort of rules. Never send your kids in the bathroom by themselves…period. You or another capable adult needs to be with them so that they remain safe.

Rule of Conduct #2
– ALWAYS have a means to protect yourself in hand when you are entering a public restroom. You do not know who is on the other side of that door or who might be hiding in a stall just waiting.

In my last article I strongly recommended the use of a “stun gun.” But before you go off and order one from Amazon or such, make sure that they are legal to use in your area. There are state, county and city laws that might prevent you from using a stun gun.

NOTE – Why A Stun Gun Vs Pepper Spray?

I know that I am taking a side step here, but I feel the need to explain why a stun gun over that of pepper spray.

First, a stun gun omits an audio and visual warning. The sparks from the end and the crackling of the electricity can help be a deterrent in and of itself. The sound is pretty loud and the sparks are pretty intimidating.

STCS-Weaponize-by-Ray-GanoThis audio and visual warning may give you the second or two to get you and your kids out of that bathroom, or give you time enough to prepare to defend yourself.

Just so you know, there is no “definitive” weapon in these situations, so you will have to really do your research and handle / train with the weapon that you choose to use.

Now, I don’t like pepper spray in this sort of situation for multiple reasons.

1 – You are in a confined area, you could get blow back from the spray. Spray that is vaporized in the air can also affect you as much as it is effecting the bad guy.

2 – Blow back, if there are fans, AC, something that is causing the air to move in the bathroom, then there is a chance that some of the mist or vapors from the pepper spray also blow back into your face.

3 – No initial deterrents like the audio and visual warnings a stun gun gives off.

4 – You have to hit the person in the face for it to be effective, where a stun gun will allow you to pretty much hit any part of the body and it will take effect.

So these are the quick reasons why I do not like pepper spray in this sort of defensive situation. I am one who is a huge advocate of pepper spray, but in this sort of close quarter situation, I really think a stun gun will give you a better edge over the assailant.

I will discuss a number of weapons that you might choose from later on in this article.

Rule of Conduct #3  – If you are able, try to go to public places with another female. This way you can work together watching each other’s back as well as helping each other with the children. Both of you can go into the bathroom together and one kind of “stands guard” inside the bathroom while the other tends to the children and themselves.

Rule of Conduct #4 – Pay attention to your instinct. The one thing that I have noticed is that women have a 6th sense or instinct for danger. Over the years this instinct has been put down and many women have pushed it aside internally. Women need to start bringing this instinct out of the closet and start paying attention to it when the internal alarm bells go off.

When traveling together with another woman, both need to agree that if the instinct internal alarms are going off, then the other will respect that and heed the internal warning and vacate the area.

It is better to shop another day or another place than being victimized by some predator.

Rule of Conduct # 5 – Try to go out into public at times which is safest. The hours from 10 AM – 12 Am – 1:00PM – 3:PM – 4:30PM – 6:00PM These are considered safe times. Stores and establishments are not as busy and the employees are more willing to pay attention to clients, ask to be of service, etc. This means that the employees are being more attentive to their jobs and to you the client. Predators do not like it when they are being watched. It is easier to blend in with the crowd. But when there is no crowd, the predator tends to stand out and be more easily observed.

Posture, Presence and Situation Awareness

womanstrikinggroin - CopyI know that these rules of conduct can be a bit of a hassle. But what you need to remember is that this isn’t the same world that we grew up in. Predators have all the rights and you, well as a recent op-ed piece stated “Women are just going to have to “get over it”, seeing men’s penis’ in the women’s bathroom.”

We are living in an age like none before. The predator is on the prowl and he/she has the law now backing them up.

A woman in today’s world needs to be more attentive and have their situation awareness turned up.

They need to pay attention to the area where they are, look for dangers, look for ambush points and look for shady characters.

This is a difficult thing to do if you are new at it, but once you start practising this situation awareness, you no longer become the victim and will become the sheepdog.

See, the predator does not like the person who is aware of their surroundings. They want to be able to ambush the easy prey and be able to violate the weak person because that is what is all about, violating the weak.

By being situationally aware and paying attention to what is going on around you, your own body language will put off a sense of purpose and your posture will present a more “willing to fight” attitude.

One of the key things that you need to remember. The predator does not want the fight, they want the “sheeple” person that they can abduct, pull behind a corner or secluded area and then have their way with them. It is all about the power over the weak.

By maintaining a strong presence, you are, in most cases, defeating the predator and causing them to look for weaker prey.

Weapons I Approve of For Women Defending Themselves

NOTE – Please check your local, state & county laws as to the carry of the following weapons. In most cases these are legal to own and use in a self defense situation, but you need to make sure that the laws are on your side and not the predator. If you do use these and they are against the law in your area, there is a chance you could be arrested. In the end, I would rather be tried by 12 than me or one of my children be carried out by 6 if it meant the life of myself or my children.

Streetwise POLICE FORCE 9,200,000 Volt TACTICAL Stun Gun Flashlight

streetwise-stungunThis is a great stun gun and is what my wife carries. It is smaller in diameter, so it fits a woman’s hand really well.

This is why I like this stun gun for a woman. It fits my wife’s hand easily and she can use it pretty quickly

But I have to admit that I like it to because it is small enough to conceal and keep in the hand without it being obvious that you have a stun gun in your hand.

This is a good weapon that you can have in hand when you are entering an area, like a public restroom so that you can use it at a moment’s notice.

Another great point about this stun gun is that it fits a single woman’s budget. It runs around $25 – $30 dollars and at this price, a woman can purchase several of these so that she has one in her purse, her car and even keep on by her bedside at night.

This also has a good lanyard on it so that if you do lose your grip, it will not fall to the ground and you can easily bring it back into your hand.

Another good selling point, it will double as an “ok” flashlight if you are in a pinch and need a flashlight.

PRO – Slim and can fit smaller hands

PRO – 9,000,000 volts and rechargeable – that is a lot of volts you will send through a person

Streetwise POLICE FORCE 9,200,000 Volt TACTICAL Stun Gun  –


Cold Steel Ti-Lite Zytel 6”

Cold-Steel-Ti-Lite-6-InchOk, this is a pretty big knife, but believe it or not, this is what my wife also carries.

The great thing about this knife is that it doubles as a kubaton… a small baton like weapon that you can carry in your hand. You see a lot of kubatons on women’s key rings.

I have to admit that when my wife got hers, I loved it and had to get one also.

Because it is long and hard like a kubaton, you can use it to smash on the predator’s head, use it like “brass knuckles” as a fist weapon and the hook like quillion has a rough texture on it that you can use to help scratch across the face, hook under the chin and smash also into the temple area.

This knife has a lot of multiple uses as a defensive weapon.

Like the Streetwise stun gun, you can hold this in your hand and it really not look like a weapon, it is easily somewhat concealed and by having in your hand you are ready for the fight if you have to defend yourself.

NOW… this is using this knife when it is closed.

The one thing I like about this knife is that once you break it in, you can easily flick this open and deploy it quicker than a switch blade can be deployed.

If you can throw a Frisbee, you can flick this knife open. All it takes is a little bit of practise and you will be amazed at how easy and fast you can get this blade opened.

This knife when deployed is effective just in and of itself. When you learn how to flick it open and the predator sees how large this knife is, they are going to think again. You have a good 8 -10 inches of reach on this knife. This will help give the woman a tactical advantage and help keep the bad guy at bay.

PRO – I like that you can carry this in your hand and it doubles as a kubaton. It is large enough to really do some damage without even deploying the knife.

PRO – The quillion, the little hook at the base of the knife blade, also is a very mean weapon in and of itself, The rough thumb grooves on the quillion will do damage if you use this as a kubaton. You can hook a chin, rip an eye, do a number of kubaton moves where the quillion will do some major extra damage.

PRO – You can deploy the knife as it is pulled out of the pocket by “snagging” the quillion on the pocket edge. This is a move that needs to be practised as well, but you will have a great tactical advantage just taking the knife out of your pocket and it deploying as you remove it.

PRO – You can learn to flick open this knife one handed. So if you are using it in a kubaton style, it is nothing to flick it in the process of a swing or block and deploy the 6” razor sharp blade.

PRO – Cost – $56.33 w/ Amazon Prime

Cold Steel Ti-Lite 6″ – http://tinyurl.com/pz-cs-ti-lite-6inch

 Monkey Paw Keyring  

monkey-paw-keyringThis is a weapon a bludgeoning weapon and what I like is the cost – $9.98. This is a price that a single woman can afford, and in fact afford to buy several of these.

These are based off of the old “ball and chain” mace type weapon and if you slammed this into the side of someone’s head, they would definitely see stars. This is a very easily concealed weapon that you could easily have in your hand when you are entering suspicious areas. It is long enough to give you about 8 inches of reach, but short enough that the 550 cord encased 1” steel ball will not come slamming back into your own face.

Using this to hit the side of the face, elbow, knee, or any hard boney area will produce the most damage.

Using a simple “X” movement swinging your hand and arm down right to left and then down left to right will create an intimidating “shield” that the predator has to go through before they get to you.

There are other movements that you can learn, for example “The Heaven 6”, which is a Filipino stick fighting movement that you can also use with the Monkey Paw key ring.

There are a lot of great videos on You Tube that you can choose from and learn different fighting techniques for this and all the weapons that I am recommending.

There are many other versions of the Monkey Paw key ring, but looking through them all, this is the one that I liked the most and also liked the cost.

Monkey Paw Keyring


Now I know that this is not a huge selection of weapons like I might suggest in other articles.

The reason is that this situation is very specific and although these weapons are great in just about any situation, I chose them for the “close quarter” fighting that a woman might encounter.

Rules of Engagement for Women

I am going to be frank here and say that if you are a woman and you feel your life is in danger, then you do all that you can to take that person stop and then get out with your life.

NOTE – If assaulted, you need to know your local laws and what you can do to use to defend yourself. Can you use a stun gun if assaulted in this manner? Can you use some other weapon to protect yourself from a questionable individual like Ti-Lite or Monkey Paw? If so what manner of force can you use as someone who is protecting themselves?

In general courts have taken the side of the women when she is protecting herself. Seeing that a bathroom is close quarters and you must fight for your life is another positive if you have to take out the predator.

So I really only have one rule for women…

Rule of Engagement #1 – Fight like your life depends on it because if you have to resort to using your weapon, your life is in danger. Train with your chosen weapon and make sure you know how to get at it in a time of stress / duress. The training is critical. Watch videos on You Tube, take some self defense classes. It is you against the predator and you need to make sure that you are the one going home that day.


I hope that this information has helped. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

PLEASE, share this article with anyone and everyone. The world has turned into a very wicked place. The predator has the law on their side and it is time that we stop being “sheeple” and start standing up to these predators and fighting back like the sheepdog.

It is my hope that you never need to use the information in this article, but I hope that you take what I have said here to heart.

Train Hard, Stay Safe – Your life will depend upon it.

Don't Be The Victim - Fight Back
Don’t Be The Victim – Fight Back